Recently, I've been dealing with the fact that I'm the demisexual in the room and my best friends are allo.

Figuring out my demisexuality has been a bit hard. I figured out I was demi when I was 18, but it took me almost a decade to really understand what that means and to identify my struggles.

I used to have a lot of libido, but still navigating sexuality was just too hard. Nowadays, my libido is almost zero, and it just feels really annoying to talk to sex-centered, sex-positive, hypersexual people. It feels like all they talk about is sex.

I'm not saying being sex-positive is a problem. I'm not saying we should keep sexual and sensual topics as taboo. We should discuss it. What I'm saying is: I believe there's too much focus on sexuality, and not everyone wants to deal with it.

I even thought once I was anti-sex because my ex-partner was so obsessed with sex that having no libido ruined our relationship.

It reminds me of when I was a teenager and everyone would discuss League of Legends and I was the only person who wouldn't play this absolute piece of shit. It was annoying feeling left out, becoming the chair while everybody's discussing games.

Maybe I'm just frustrated about sex. For some, it's a topic that brings pleasure, but for me it brings just frustration. I rarely masturbate now. The last time I had sex with someone was last June, and I regret it completely. Actually, most of my latest experiences with sex were full of regrets. What was I thinking? Why didn't I say no...

I feel frustrated...